Note: This is posted “as is”, no editing or proof reading involved, as part of the 30 Shorts In 30 Days project. During April I will be attempting to write and post a new short story everyday.
The tavern owner in Capernaum had had enough. The group of five men had been in drinking since early morning, and had more than a skinful of wine, they’d gone through several skins each already and the tavern owner had kicked them out.
“Look, there he is, he’s in there,” the most drunk member of the group pointed to the temple before collapsing onto the ground.
“Oh get up John,” one of his friends replied.
“He’s not moving Dave, I think he’s out cold,” a second friend explained.
“Vincent’s right. Never could handle his drink,” another member of the group. “Roll him over onto that rug, we’ll carry him.”
“That is him though isn’t it Daniel?” The first friend asked. “That’s that Jesus bloke in there.”
“Hey yeah! Let’s go see him,” Vincent replied.
“You seen those queues? It’d take ages to get in there.”
“Don’t worry about that, we don’t need to queue up and get close, we just want to see him.”
“What are you suggesting Dave?”
“That we go up on the roof, and look down at him. We can see what we want from up there.”
There are some ideas that are good ideas. There are some ideas that are bad ideas. And then there are some ideas that are made when drunk that seem like good ideas, but are bad ideas. This was one of those.
The buildings in Capernaum didn’t have tiled roofs, they had straw roofs – after all it didn’t rain that much there – and when four drunken blokes, carrying a fifth drunken bloke step onto a straw roof, the chances of it supporting their weight are very slim.
When Jesus saw their state he was livid. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he screamed at the group of drunks laying on the floor amongst the remains of the roof.
In the temple at that time were some of the local law makers, and being typical lawyers they didn’t have much of a sense of humour.
“I’m not blaspheming!” Jesus snapped at them before turning back to the four men and their paralytic friend. “Look, get up, take your mat with you and get out.”
The five men, for the fifth had woken out of his stupor when he fell, got up and walked out.
Polynius turned to Belia, “I’ve never seen anything like this!”
“I know,” Belia replied. “It’s almost like he’s finally grown a spine.”
“D’you know, Belia dear, from a different angle this could be seen as a miracle.”
“A miracle Polynius? How so?”
“Well, Jesus just made a paralytic man get up and walk.”